I’m a sinner saved by grace. I’m also a Colonel turned life coach and lay counselor and now, I add:
co-author.
Could it be that our God is a funny god? No doubt. I’ve seen His humor many times in my life and here it is again: co-author?! (if I may God, I exclaim, “Get out!” ( I say that in tweenager-tone, with total respect, gratitude and wonder of this recent miracle in my life.)
Just a little over a year ago, Angela and I were two women meeting up to learn more about our significance in the Significant Woman discipling study. As we began to get to know each other in this mentoring meet-up, we poured out our shared struggles of shame, rejection, people-pleasing, and perfectionism. We would go hours over our planned meeting time, opening up about our painful experiences with these issues.
Just before last summer, she called and asked if I would write about the struggles in an open, honest way like I had when I spoke at a women’s event she’d attended. I had walked up to speak, rattling from the chains that bound me (physically) as I shared about God’s redemptive work in my life. As I spoke about new freedom there was an audible “ca-chink” as a little chunk of my chain crashed to the floor.
Angela wanted us to write with that same level of authenticity and truth.
We spent the summer sending snippets back-and-forth while vacationing separately in the Boundary Waters Canoe Area, Yellowstone and Glacier national parks, and various east coast beaches. I read what she wrote and responded with “this is raw, real and so helpful.” She would say the same about my written words.
Our church gave approval for us to lead what we’d proposed: a Bible study on the things (and sin) that entangle us. They asked us for the name. Angela and I went back-and-forth and decided on the hope offered through “Untangled.” We included many coaching tools we had personally tried — along with our clients — and with wonderful success. We led our study and more women attended than the one or two we had prayed for.
Our women felt untangled and encouraged us to: “Finish writing it. Add to it. Publish it. Share it more. Translate it. Lead it again!”
Would I? Could I? Angela asked.
Fear forced me into what felt like a corner–a very small one–all while my people-pleasing problems persisted. I can’t. I won’t. I shan’t. “No” seemed to slip into my psyche as I thought those thoughts. What will people think? I tried to explain this to Angela.
She had a great response. I didn’t completely like it at the time, but in hindsight, I really respect her for it. She said, “Look, I’m going to write this book. I can rewrite your parts on fear, insecurity, rejection, people-pleasing, stress and purposelessness. I can do it, but it’s not going to be as good. This is your story and people can be changed by your story.”
Okaaaay, how do you respond to that? As a Colonel turned coach and counselor?
When it comes to change, other peoples change, you just can’t pull out. God uses us uniquely for His change.
So I wonder, how are you being changed? Who is helping you change?
Who is your “Angela?” (because everyone needs an Angela!)
______________
What do you need to untangle from?
Fear, Insecurity, Shame, Rejection, Anger, Comparison, Judgment, People pleasing, Sadness, Running on empty, Stress, Perfectionism, Appearances, Lack of purpose
Click here to order your copy of Untangled.
Click here to read more about Angela Gilmour, co-author of Untangled